I’m grateful for all the virtual OA meetings, which I believe came about as an answer to the Covid restrictions. I’m not grateful for Covid, but I am grateful for how it made our Fellowship change and open up to a new way of connecting. My life has been enriched by new opportunities to attend meetings all over the world and by people who I would never have connected with otherwise.
Connection with another person on any level is what I love most. Even heavy debates are good for me (especially if they make me feel uncomfortable). I always learn something from another person’s perspective. I don’t have to like or agree with what they say, but I feel blessed every time someone enlightens me with a different way of thinking, feeling, or acting. This also encourages me to work the concept of acceptance: I can accept another even when I disagree. I can accept that “my way” is not always the best way to work this program.
I can accept another even when I disagree. I can accept that “my way” is not always the best way to work this program.
I came into this program for a brief time about 30 years ago. I lost some weight while working the Steps with a sponsor. I found myself dazed after losing my sponsor, and I drifted back into unhealthy life practices. The weight returned, and I gave all my attention to raising my children and other events that life seemed to set at my feet. A move to another state changed me as I grieved the loss of connection with friends and family.
Later, I was fortunate to establish new friendships with people who cared about me. One such friendship brought me back to the program, and I found my way home. I fell right back into wanting what so many others had: a life of serenity and healthy living, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s a mouthful when I put them all together.
I was relieved of 120 pounds (54 kg) during the next 18 months and felt so strong and courageous that I began to step out of my comfort zone. I was received by my outside world with big smiles and acceptance, as if people really liked me. I knew what was happening, however. The acceptance was artificial. They did not know the real me. I was a success story on the outside but still a child wrought with fear of failure and loneliness on the inside. My acting training was summoned, and no one knew the difference. I could be whatever they wanted me to be.
Using this false sense of success, I began to step out even further from my comfort zone with a new job. I thought more money would make the fear of failure go away. I had left a job where I was on my feet for a desk job, sitting on my bottom. The former job helped me maintain my weight loss, and I very quickly learned that I had not made plans to incorporate a replacement for the physical part of my program. The weight began to return, but I did not allow myself to become fazed, because I knew the OA program still worked. I just needed to find a way to make it happen.
What I didn’t know was that I already had the answer. I initially came back to OA to lose weight, and while I was working the program, I found myself along the way. Even when the weight returned, I did not forget that I just didn’t want the weight gone, I wanted the old me to be gone. I was tired of pretending, and I wanted to be the true me. It never occurred to me that something as simple as getting to know myself, accepting myself, and loving myself with all the good and the bad, would be such a daunting and exhilarating experience. Some days, it amounts to a full-time job, but it is oh so worth it!
Once I established my feelings for myself, and as I followed the practices and principles of the OA program, I found I could accept and love others as I had myself. I realized that if I could look past my defects, then I could surely look past the defects of others. This made my life so much easier because I could return to my love of connection with others. Instead of dismissing certain people with behaviors I did not like, I learned to like (and sometimes love) them despite their behaviors. Connecting with more people gave me a chance to improve myself with new ideas and knowledge and just maybe share something of myself with them. Another example of an oh-so-worth-it job!
I realized that if I could look past my defects, then I could surely look past the defects of others. This made my life so much easier because I could return to my love of connection with others.
Meetings in any form, phone calls, and other means of communication are my connection with others. I live for the opportunities that come my way because I know something good will result. I will feel blessed or learn something new. If another’s experience is the same, then it’s a win-win. The exchange of thoughts and feelings might lead to something deeper, like a true friendship. For me, this is the best gift of all time.
I’m still working on the weight and my newfound purpose to connect with others. I will be eternally grateful for this program, its members, and a Higher Power that connects us all to each other.
—Elizabeth, Missouri USA
