I no longer have a desire to be like others, and this is my newfound awareness. I have come to accept and love myself.
When my wife told me for the first time that I had become very overweight, I came to OA to lose weight. It’s been three years since I first introduced myself in OA as an uncontrolled overeater.
For the first two years, I sought refuge and friendship from anyone who had benefited from OA. I wanted to be like them, so as soon as someone shared a hopeful message about a method that had worked for them, I would eagerly approach them and ask for help. I tried various methods to stay abstinent, from skipping meals to following a doctor’s plan to using a scale and everything else that anyone has ever tried once. Basically, I tried everything that the 20 other members of my group had done, but I had no success. Despite all these failures, I continued to participate in my home meeting.
That’s how I learned “Don’t leave before the miracle happens” is not just a slogan! One day, the speaker’s share seemed to be describing my story. He talked about all the solutions he had chased, even while being in OA. It made me think about my past: as a child, I wanted to be like my mother; as I grew older, I wanted to be like the teacher; then the sports coach; then like a TV celebrity. This desire to be like someone else had always been with me.
The speaker described his experiences working Step Seven and that it had helped him become a better version of himself. And with that, I had a realization: My nutritional needs differ from others; what’s healing for me might be fatal for someone else! I should design my own food plan, commit to it, and commit to sending it to my sponsor.
Now I see, in OA, no one gives us a food plan. My experience tells me to write my own food plan from the five sources available to me:
- Reviews of past experiences to identify triggering and troublesome foods
- Suggestions from members
- My sponsor
- Nutrition experts
- My inner voice
My plan of eating is like my fingerprint: it’s only for me. I used the Tool of writing and started noting down the following:
- Long gaps between meals made me restless in the past, so I will choose a three-meal plan with three snacks.
- My guide suggested drinking enough water, so I will implement this suggestion into my plan.
- From the food list provided by members, I have identified foods that cause my craving and foods I have had aversions to and will not eat those foods.
- I asked members about nutrition experts and found one familiar with eating disorders. I will work with the nutritionist to consider the above points so I will receive a suitable nutrition plan from a nutrition expert.
- After I receive the plan from the nutritionist, the last part will be to decide whether I really want to execute this plan and whether I will sincerely commit to it.
It’s been a year since, and I’ve been adhering to my plan on most days. I have lost a significant amount of weight, and I’ve also had challenges.
Today, I have my own food plan. It is similar to a fingerprint, tailored specifically to me and aligning with my needs and characteristics. I no longer have a desire to be like others, and this is my newfound awareness. I have come to accept and love myself. I’m grateful to God, OA, and the members of the Fellowship for the insights they provide me.
—Majid, Alborz, Iran
