Guarding my adherence to a committed way of eating has required doing everything this program asked me to do.
In 1993, when I was 44 years old and 16 years abstinent, I thought I knew everything there was to know about recovery in OA. I was in awe of the fact that I was still abstinent, still the same size, still free from the weight game. At the time, 16 years was almost longtimer (and back then, we used to say “old timer”). OA had put a call out for submissions for a new piece of literature titled “Abstinence.” Why not? the voice in my head said. So I wrote my story down as best I could, but when I tried to describe the day I “got it,” all I could think of was that it was like a light switch had been turned on. The editors of the book titled my story “The Moment It Clicked” (Abstinence pp. 46–47; Abstinence, Second Edition, pp. 55–56).
Once again, a call has gone out for Abstinence submissions and it seems only appropriate, whether the editors are interested in this for the next edition or not, that I check in to let you know that this program does indeed work for a lifetime. I am now a 75-year-old retiree, and as of today, November 13th, 2024, I am celebrating 47 years of abstaining from compulsive eating, overeating and compulsive food behaviors.
In my real life, the children became adults, marriages ended, new marriages happened, friends and family passed on, grandchildren were born—in other words, life happened. To be there for all of that is a blessing of this OA program. The Spiritual Principles of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions have provided wisdom and guidance in my decision-making and general conduct. The Fellowship has provided opportunities to be of service and to give and get support. And it all started with one phone call to a woman who would become, and still is, my sponsor and friend. On November 13, 1977, I made a commitment to her that I would not take that first bite no matter what. Abstinence would be the most important thing.
And abstinence remains the single driver of my continued recovery. Guarding my adherence to a committed way of eating has required doing everything this program asked me to do. It drove me to a working relationship with a Higher Power that could relieve the obsession and fear, which it still does. Our literature says that food thoughts may never leave me entirely, but the good news is they no longer control my behavior; I have a choice now. Our literature also promises that this will happen sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, but it will always happen if we work for it. Once we take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover.
With age and time in the program also comes a deeper understanding of what this is all about. In the 1970s, abstinence was a food plan, and it was all about the weight . . . until it wasn’t. In current times, abstinence has become more about how I live my life.
Abstinence with a capital A, our version of sobriety, starts by putting down the food (tears are allowed) and continues for the rest of our lives. Abstinence is not dependent upon people, places, feelings, or relationships. Abstinence stands alone. It is ours for the asking if we are willing to fight for it. To give up all that I have been given for one impulsive bite of something would, at this point in my life, crush my soul. No bite is worth selling one’s soul. I gave my word to my sponsor. I intend to keep it!
—Chris Q.
