All I can do is work OA one day at a time. . . . I cannot let up.
Hi! My name is Mary, and I am a compulsive overeater. I came into the OA program in May 2011 and walked out of that first meeting shaking because I knew I had found my answer after years of compulsive eating. Today, I am 120 pounds (54.4 kg) lighter than my highest recorded weight. Through working the Steps, working with a sponsor, following a food plan, going to meetings, sponsoring, doing service, praying and meditating, reading, and writing; today, I can say, I am “happy, joyous and free,” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, p. 133) and I have a life beyond my wildest dreams! I have physical, spiritual and emotional recovery from compulsive overeating, one day at a time.
Next week, I am traveling to Italy. It’s a trip I’ve been planning for a year! It will be my first time there, and I’m very excited! When I started doing research about the country and the sites, the guide books mention the different regions and what to see, including what to eat and drink. Each region is known for different cheeses, pastas, and wines. When I started thinking about the food, and how Italy has different foods, I got nervous—actually, I became very anxious! I went to an OA longtimer, and started blurting out about my anxiety, and she replied, “I’m pretty sure God is in Italy”! Oh!—well didn’t that just put a stop to my anxious thinking!
Later I reconnected to the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition) on page 35, “What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic . . . ? Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This man has a charming wife and family. . . . He is a good salesman. Everybody likes him. He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous disposition.” I connect with that reading because everything seems to be good, but I just have one little thing that’s off! Maybe I’m a little nervous, or anxious or maybe I am not in touch with what I’m feeling. I just know that I’m off. What I do know is that I do not want to get back into the food. And as Jim’s story continues, it says “All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life” (p. 35). Here, too, was my answer!
My current continuous abstinent date is June 30, 2022. I follow a food plan. I weigh and measure my food because it brings me freedom from the obsession. Those boundaries help me to stay abstinent, sane, and free. When a longtimer said to me, Do you eat salami here? No? Then don’t eat it there. Do you eat pizza here? No? Then don’t eat it there. Simple advice. I will not be eating pizza, salami, gelato, cheese, or pasta, nor will I be drinking wine while in Italy. Why? Because those foods are not on my list of abstinent foods.
At a recent meeting, a member shared that while she was on vacation, she got out of her daily routines of prayer and meditation. I heard that! That spoke to me! Any busyness can keep me from doing my consistent daily activities. But this disease is gripping and powerful, and the only way I know to combat it is to start my day with prayer and meditation, sending a food plan, working the Steps, reading, and writing. I plan to do these while in Italy. I also downloaded a meditation book as an app on my phone, and I found an app that has the Big Book and AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. I plan to find moments of connection to God through art, people watching, nature, and museums.
I also know I need silence! That’s when I connect to my Higher Power. From what I understand Italy will be very busy with tourists, and I will be jumping into that busyness! I’m not sure how I will find the silence in the busyness of the day. I’m still working that part out and asking God to help me. I’m going to make some more calls and ask what other people have done while on vacation to remain abstinent. I also may go to an OA meeting while in Italy! (If I don’t go in person, I know I can find a meeting online.) I will still send a daily food plan. I have arranged to have people whom I can call and text all hours of the day (and they can do that to me too!) We just leave our phones off while sleeping and get the messages when we see them.
Traveling brings a new dimension of unease in working this program, but all I can do is work OA one day at a time. For me, I cannot let up. I pray for the honesty, openness, and willingness to work this program on a daily basis. I am so grateful to be a compulsive overeater because while right now I might be focusing on food preparations and coming up with a plan to stay abstinent and talking out my anxiety, while I am traveling, I will be present to for the people I’m with, I will have energy, I will be in a positive frame of mind, I will keep my expectations low, I will be open to new experiences and people and sites, and I will keep my connection to God high, just like I’ve been doing in my home, at work, in my community, at church, with my family of origin, and with my OA family! God is in Italy! Actually my Higher Power is traveling with me all the time!
—Mary Jo, Illinois USA
