There was something inside me that told me “No matter what, go to meetings, be of service, and ask God for guidance, whether abstinent or not.”
I would have never believed that I could remain in OA and not leave, even while I was relapsing and having trouble with abstinence, but it’s true: I never left. Service was the Tool that provided me with the courage to “keep coming back” for over 48 years.
When I came into OA in May 1976, I was 23 years old and weighed 288 pounds (130.6 kg). From the very beginning, I heard the messages to keep coming back, to be of service, and to become abstinent. Giving service made me feel important, and I believe service helped me to continue coming to meetings and staying in the program. From the late 1970s through 1996, I had the opportunity to feel a part of Overeaters Anonymous and remained abstinent. I honestly believe that service on all levels: meetings, intergroup, region, and World Service Business Conference helped me learn the importance of abstinence and living a healthy life in threefold recovery (emotional, physical, and spiritual).
In 1996, I started to have a lot of trouble with food and my plan of eating. Then went into total relapse in 2000, going from 160 to 265 pounds (73 to 120 kg). I continued to be of service at the group and intergroup level when and where I could.
I felt so terrible about myself, but I kept coming back to OA. I knew in my heart that I wanted to grow emotionally, spiritually, and physically (which meant to me to have a healthy body and be exercising regularly). There was something inside me that told me “No matter what, go to meetings, be of service, and ask God for guidance, whether abstinent or not.”
The years between 2000 and 2010 were a very dark time for me, and I felt like a complete failure. But there was something deep inside me that said, “Jo you can’t leave OA, or you will die.” I was and still am grateful for the OA friends who loved and supported me even through my relapse and being abstinent intermittently during those years.
In November 2010, I became abstinent and started losing the weight I gained during the relapse. Today, one day at a time, I am growing physically, mentally, and spiritually while living my OA Twelve Step Program.
I know deep in my gut that service, abstinence, as well the support of my friends in OA has kept me coming back to OA.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to be abstinent and feel love for myself more each day!
—Jo H., California USA
