I was a fat kid, a fat adolescent, and weighing 315 pounds (143 kg), I was a fat adult. In concert with my Higher Power, I have achieved a normal body weight of 139–144 pounds (63–65 kg) for the very first time in my adult life.
I first came into Overeaters Anonymous in 1987, a few years after being in recovery in two other Twelve Step programs. One of my twelve-step friends had also recovered in OA and said she was there for me if I wanted more information about the OA program. One Friday morning, I called a sponsee and asked her to go with me to an OA meeting. We went, and I knew that this was where I needed to be. The food addiction had been with me since I was a small child. I was a fat kid, a fat adolescent, and at 5-feet-2½-inches (159 cm) tall and weighing 315 pounds (143 kg), I was a fat adult. My life was not terrible by any means, but I was sick and tired of being fat. I was willing to do something about it at that time, and I hoped that OA might help me.
I found another meeting near my office that met at noon on Wednesdays. I went for the first time, and once again, I knew this was it. I returned to work a few minutes late, and I went to my boss and shared where I had been. I made amends for coming back late, telling her that I would make up the time by staying late that day. Going forward, I asked for permission to leave 15 minutes early and come back 15 minutes late each Wednesday, assuring her that I would make up the lost time. She wholeheartedly agreed! Thus began my OA journey.
I had been in the habit of eating all day for so long that I didn’t know what being truly hungry felt like. When I cut my intake to three meals a day plus a snack, the rumblings began. I stopped going out to eat with all of my lunch buddies from work and instead began bringing my lunch and sharing lunchtime four days per week with another co-worker who stayed in during the noon hour.
I lost 150 pounds (68 kg) over the next couple of years, going at first to the one Wednesday meeting per week, then branching out to two more after work. I worked the Steps, but sadly, I never got a sponsor. I did make a couple of good friends in OA, one of whom was recovered and was akin to a sponsor, but I never made it official, and we never did any Step work together. In the summer of 1990, I made the decision to leave my job, my home, and my three program’s worth of friends to move back to my hometown to attend graduate school.
I moved in with my mom and began studying and teaching at the university. There were two OA meetings there and many meetings for my other fellowship, but in my humble opinion, recovery was lacking in the OA meetings. I went to the OA meetings for a few months but then decided that I could work my OA program inside of the other fellowship. Success was mine for about a year until I faced a crisis and turned back to the food. As the weight slowly began to creep back up, I was mortified. Blessings for me happened when my Higher Power sent a woman into my life from Louisiana, which is where I live now.
She invited me to enjoy a festival weekend with her and her family. I was subsequently led to continue my graduate studies in her hometown, and it was here that I got back into OA. I went to a meeting, which continues to be my home group today, got a sponsor within the month, was blessed with abstinence again, threw myself into the program and lost all the weight I had gained. I believed I was recovered. I worked the Steps, began to sponsor, took on service positions, spoke at an OA meeting in another state, and did all the right things, yet I suffered another couple of relapses and weight gains. But I never quit coming back.
On Thursday, December 26, 2019, I went with my husband to a recovery meeting in my other fellowship. Before the meeting began, I had stood outside alone and whispered to my Higher Power that I truly desired OA recovery once again. I said that I was willing to do whatever it might take to become abstinent and stay abstinent, one day at a time. After the meeting, when we were grouped together deciding where we would go for dinner, my husband’s sponsor looked at me and said, “Stuart, where would you like to go?” I named a restaurant where I knew I could get an abstinent meal, and I knew what I was going to order, and they agreed! Thus, with my dinner on that day, I became an abstinent member of Overeaters Anonymous once again. I was at 224 pounds (102 kg).
I was willing to do whatever it might take to become abstinent and stay abstinent, one day at a time.
I adopted a food plan over the weekend, and on Monday at noon, I attended an OA meeting that I had not been to in quite some time. Afterwards, I approached a woman whom I had admired for a long time and told her what I had done over the past few days. I asked if I could call her. She said yes and asked what she could do to help me. I said, “Work the Steps with me, please.” She agreed, and I called her the next day. She has been my sponsor ever since, and we have developed a really beautiful relationship. When Covid and social distancing happened only a few months into our journey, it did not deter me. I wrote a Fourth Step and did my Fifth Step with her by videoconference. I completed the rest of the Steps with her able assistance. I stayed in touch with people in the program, and when face-to-face meetings resumed, I went back completely committed and have remained so ever since.
I try to live the Steps to the best of my ability. I sponsor five women and one man (five sponsees are local and one lives about an hour and a half away). My sponsees are either sponsoring themselves or will sponsor as soon they complete the Twelve Steps. I use the phone. I attend three OA meetings per week, two face-to-face and one online (plus another three meetings per week in my other fellowship). I hold a service position beyond the group level. I am a volunteer for our Region’s upcoming business assembly and recovery convention happening next spring. I exercise regularly. I follow a plan of eating, and in concert with my Higher Power, I have achieved a relatively normal body weight of 139–144 pounds (63–65 kg) for the very first time in my adult life. The God of my experience (not of my understanding) is so awesome! He has graced me with the willingness and the ability to create a most fabulous life for myself one day at a time. What does that look like? I begin each day with the Serenity Prayer, a prayer for peace, and the passage “On awakening , , , ” from the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, pp. 86–88) via an online video where I listen to the sound of the ocean and watch the waves crash onto the beach. I do Steps One, Two, and Three and read from OA and AA meditation books. I send out a “thought for the day” meme to many friends in both programs. I am retired, so I have the ability to completely give myself to this simple program.
I am writing this from a beach week in Destin, Florida USA, with five women from my other fellowship, my sponsor, three of my sponsees, and a “grand sponsee,” all of whom support me in my OA program. I have kept up my disciplines, eaten three moderate meals and a snack with the help of Higher Power and have not ingested a single bite from the “wall of sugar” that sits across the room from me—nor have I even been tempted!
I am eternally grateful for what I have found in Overeaters Anonymous. If you are struggling, please don’t quit before the miracle happens! Please don’t just keep coming back—stay! Like the Big Book says, “If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps” (p. 58) and “May God bless you and keep you until then” (p. 164).
—Stuart S., Louisiana USA
