My name is Denise, and I am a grateful, recovering compulsive overeater.
Just four months ago, right before I joined OA, I could not picture myself ever saying those words. The yo-yo dieting and creeping weight gain were back, and they’d brought some of their old friends: guilt, shame, and fear. I thought I had put all of that behind me, so now in addition, I was feeling a growing sense of hopelessness. This led to the gift of true desperation, which got me to attend my first OA meeting.
I had started battling with my weight in my teens. For decades, I tried every diet plan, no matter how crazy. I went to the diet groups. I ordered the prepackaged diet food. I even resorted to getting amphetamines from a weight-loss doctor. I’d restrict my food intake for a few days only to give in and overeat in a big way. Eventually, I found myself at 255 pounds (115kg). I had high blood pressure, my asthma kept getting bad enough for me to be repeatedly hospitalized, and I was hating the life I was living.
I decided to have bariatric surgery, and then, with that and a dietitian’s guidance, I started a healthier way of eating. The weight came off quickly, and I lost about 100 pounds (45 kg). Once I was at my goal weight, I adjusted my food plan a bit to maintain my weight. That went well, for about five years, until it didn’t. This leads us back to the beginning of my story. With the first 5 pounds (2.3 kg), I thought “I can deal with this, I’ll be back to my goal weight in no time.” Then it was 10, then 15. At 19 pounds (8kg) something in me snapped! “No! I was not going to be one of those statistics, people who go through all that is involved with the pain and irreversible lifestyle changes that go along with weight-loss surgery only to gain it all back in five to ten years, Nope, not me.” But what was I supposed to do? I needed something different, not another diet.
I remembered hearing about OA many years ago and decided, “Why not? It can’t hurt and it might help.” It was not the most enthusiastic or confident beginning, but it was enough to get me to a meeting. I found a small group of women who welcomed me with such genuine warmth, and when I started to ramble about the food and the weight and how I didn’t know what to do, they got it. They got me. I read the simple definition of abstinence that OA offers, which leaves plenty of room for each of us to make our abstinence just that, our abstinence. I took two days of pondering to figure out what my abstinence was. It was simple, it made sense to me, and it had the flexibility to work with my surgically smaller stomach and the special dietary needs that I required.
I remember hearing about OA many years ago and decided, “Why not? It can’t hurt and it might help.” It was not the most enthusiastic or confident beginning, but it was enough to get me to an OA meeting.
Virtual meetings are a lifesaver. They offer so many types of meetings at all times of day or night. I tried out several, and one day, I saw one that listed its specific focus as Neurodiverse/neurodivergent. I had to check it out. As someone who did not figure out that they were neurodivergent until they were 50, I wanted to meet these other OA members who were also like me in this other way. Wow! I had found my tribe.
I recently celebrated 90 days abstinent. I even spoke at the milestones event when I had my 60 days. Not only am I back to my goal weight but as I work the Steps and volunteer for service, I find myself becoming a better, more patient person in other areas of my life. I am so grateful to OA and the true fellowship it has given me. I don’t know where I would be without it and I don’t plan on ever finding out.
—Denise M., New York USA
