I have regarded this home improvement project as analogous to working the Steps, especially Step Four and Step Ten.
Upon retirement, I moved cross-country to settle in the family home that I had inherited, a 1946 ranch style house. My mother had been unable to attend to it in the last years of her life due to the crippling effects of dementia, so it required restoration. And it is restoration not renovation. Renovation is knocking down everything that exists and replacing it with something brand new. Restoration is working with what is and trying to bring it back to a better reality.
Restoration is working with what is and trying to bring it back to a better reality.
I have regarded this home improvement project as analogous to working the Steps, especially Step Four and Step Ten. Whether I like it or not, there are things within this house that simply don’t work or are damaged. Not only must the hot water heater be replaced but all the plumbing must be upgraded to conform to current county codes. Not only does the ceiling need to be repaired from water damage, but the roof must be patched and gutters replaced to prevent further leaks. And then there is the cleaning, decluttering, organizing needed to bring order to a place that housed my family for over 50 years. But it’s still the same house.
With my initial Fourth Step inventory, I tried to be as honest as I could be, reporting my major problems with people, places, and things. But in restoring a house, there is always more to find on a deeper level: Dirt hides in crevices or on shelves that I’ve overlooked. Opening a drawer or cupboard can unleash a Pandora’s box of forgotten items. It almost makes me want to curse the motto “More will be revealed.” Enough has been revealed, thank you very much, and I’m tired.
I was taught to commit to working my Fourth Step a little at a time on a daily basis. It could be as much or as little as I wished, but I was taught to make a consistent effort. It was in that manner that I completed my first Fourth Step and three more Fourth Steps over the course of several years. I also write my Tenth Step on a daily basis to avoid potential craziness.
I was taught to commit to working my Fourth Step a little at a time on a daily basis. . . . I was taught to make a consistent effort.
But as I continue on this spiritual path, there may well be other Pandora’s boxes, inventories on deeper levels that I was prevented from seeing before but can now face. By working a daily Tenth Step, I can maintain the bit of serenity I’ve attained in this program. Yet I also need to be open to any adjustment that my Higher Power directs. I am being restored to sanity, but I’m still me.
My house is becoming, more and more, a comfortable sanctuary as I continue to work with it.
—Judy B.
