Now I have the OA Tools and Higher Power. I don’t have to live the way I once did.
I cannot believe I have been abstinent long enough to have made it to Step Twelve. When I first came to this program, I would not have thought my life would be as it is now. It is very different. I am more open to life and active in it.
The spiritual awakening I have experienced involves knowing I am not alone. I have my Higher Power, my sponsor, the Steps, and the Tools to use. I have the Fellowship and a solution.
My living situation has undergone a dramatic change. I have moved and have a new job. At my core, I know my Higher Power takes care of me. But sometimes when things don’t go as I think they should, I get angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad, and resentful. Now I have the OA Tools and Higher Power. I don’t have to live the way I once did, and for certain I do not have to eat over it.
Food no longer controls me, and I have regained sanity. I am healthier than ever, and I feel better than I have felt in a long time. I still have other changes to make, and I know this is just a beginning.
I remember what I felt like when I first came to OA. I was angry and did not want anyone to see me cry. I was mad that I had to come to a Twelve Step program to learn how to eat. Yet members still accepted and welcomed me. People were kind. Now I want to be a kind person and to be of service to the new people who come in.
I know I cannot keep what I have unless I share it with others. I do not stay abstinent alone; I eat and isolate alone. I recover with the help of others. It does scare me to think I may be a sponsor to someone in this program. But I have a sponsor and Higher Power; I don’t have to have all the answers. I just have to share experience, strength, and hope.
Doing service has helped me so much. Just making a phone call benefits me, often more than the recipient. Many times I don’t want to show up for a meeting, but if I have a commitment, I must go. Often I find the meeting is just what I needed.
When doing service or anything else, I focus on the action I must take, not the results. If I focus on the results and things don’t go my way, I end up resentful. Higher Power is responsible for the results, not me.
The Twelve Steps not only have helped me get and stay abstinent; they have given me a life I never had before OA.
—Michele
