When I first came into OA, my idea of a sponsor was “get one and obey everything they say so I can lose weight.” And I soon discovered that some sponsors were requiring the kind of obedience that is only for the God of my understanding.
My next sponsor helped me find professional care to address my deep emotional issues and gave me permission to decide, with God’s help, what was right for me. I learned a lot from her in the two years she sponsored me. “Stuff happens;” “We’re just bozos together on the bus;” and “Take life as it comes” were some of her favorite slogans.
Various members sponsored me temporarily for a couple of years, I began to learn how to speak to other people but found it difficult to practice such things on my own—I realize now that I had too much self-centeredness to think of the other person.
I found my current sponsor at an assembly I attended as an observer. Although we only speak by video chat once a week for half an hour, her sponsorship has increased my understanding and honesty in my program. I send her a text each evening with what has happened during my day and my food plan for the following day. If changes have to be made, I text her immediately, and I am encouraged when she responds to my texts. The God of my understanding has been showing me where I’ve been oblivious to matters that need to be shared with my sponsor.
Although we only speak by video chat once a week . . . her sponsorship has increased my understanding and my honesty in my program.
One slogan I’ve learned is TRUST, which is “Try Really Using Step Three,” because I’ve been fearful of finances and medical people. When I had resentments against OA, she suggested that I do a Fourth Step on what those resentments were and deal with each of them separately. This worked so well that I also worked the Twelve Steps on these same difficulties.
Without a sponsor, I would be unable to continue to recover and experience the OA promises coming true in my life.
—Anonymous
Editor’s Note: Read more on this topic in The Balanced Sponsor/Sponsee Relationship written by the OA Board of Trustees.
