John hated his grandmother for the way she treated him as a kid. And he ate over it. But by working Steps Eight and Nine and by doing a “forgiveness inventory,” he got to the bottom of it and was able to forgive. “This program is amazing,” he writes.
Alan’s grandmother helped raise him, but later, Alan couldn’t bring himself to visit her in the nursing home. Working Step Nine, found a way to make a living amends and find a new passion for public health.
Before OA, Courtney neglected and abused her body. “I have taken better care of my car than of you,” she writes in a message to her own body. Now after a few years of abstinence, she is ready to make an Eighth Step, add her own body to the list of persons she has harmed and become willing to make amends.
Ronnie, a compulsive overeater, and Tina, a recovering compulsive overeater, host this workshop on Step Eight: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” For Ronnie, the accountability of Step Eight is what differentiates the OA program from talk therapy.
“The Eighth Step is the springboard for creating genuinely healthy relationships, based on honesty, humility, balance, appreciation, and objectivity,” says one OA member. Sometimes, though, becoming willing to make direct amends takes time.