I have a problem called compulsive overeating, and food is my common denominator. It’s that simple, and I don’t need any more reason. I don’t need to create a special interest group to separate myself from you in OA. Food, that’s the connection: how I’ve used it and not used it are my only identifying factors.
Food, that’s the connection: how I’ve used it and not used it are my only identifying factors. . . . I’ve been restored to sanity, which equals peace of mind to me; the food is no longer in charge.
See, I’m powerless over food, and it makes me unmanageable to engage with the old thinking and old behaviors. I’ve been restored to sanity, which equals peace of mind to me; the food is no longer in charge. I turned my way and my beliefs and thinking over to Creator by making a decision in Step Three to turn my will over to the care of God.
I wrote out my first Fourth Step Inventory in 1990, and I learned turning to food was not the answer; eating over people, places, things, principles, or institutions is not the answer. I was incarcerated for a short time, and I ate my way through. Food was not the answer. I learned what was affected: personal relations, my pocketbook, my pride, and then I learned in what ways I was totally selfish, inconsiderate, bitter, jealous, insecure, and had no relationship with Creator. I learned to see how my character defects were taking the lead. I learned our character defects are our instincts, which are actually a good part of human living. But with people living in disease, we take them into overdrive and misuse them, and as result, we harm ourselves and others by behaviors, manipulations, and attempts to control.
In Step Six, I learned about humility, and being a humble person. By letting go of ego, I get humbled because I’ve learned to get out of the way.
In Steps Eight and Nine, I made the amends list and made the amends.
In Step Ten, l learned to check my thinking, my attitude throughout the day would keep me in check, meaning balance, no need to over react to life, still learning this. Prayer life, a form of discipline, started in beginning of this lifestyle and has continued, it’s like the electrical grounder, keeps me connected and grounded daily,
As the result of this work, in my Twelfth Step, I get to share with others and take them through the Steps. It’s a gift. Even when I was separated from my husband for several years and moved to another state, I called the intergroup. I was told there was no “regular OA,” it was one of those specific-topic groups (“special interest” is what I’d call it), and I did not want to do that. I learned through “plain ol’ regular OA,” and it worked just fine for me. So what I did was use all I learned over many years: wrote my food daily, read our literature, attended my other fellowship, applied what you taught me for many years. I lost over 60 pounds (27 kg), and kept it off. Thank you, OA.
I walked back into OA rooms in 2018 after returning to Texas. I did it to get Doctor out of my head. I had cancer that lead to chemo and radiation, and Doctor was telling me to eat. The whole time, I’m thinking, “I have a disease, compulsive overeating, and you don’t tell people with this disease to eat.” Yes I needed to eat, yet needed to keep my learned recovery lifestyle in action as well. I needed you in the rooms, so I walked back into an OA meeting and amazingly the Doctor’s voice left immediately.
I’m now claiming six years of abstinence—it’s easier to stay humbled and not spend a long time explaining the several years of separation before 2018. Y’all have taught me life is fun, but my meals can’t be fun. I have to have gluten-free and lactose-free. It’s not an option, so my food plan is simple.
I’m one of many, and I hope to see you one day on this path. It’s worth all the daily discipline for freedom from food obsession.
—Deborah, Texas USA
